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User blog:Angella (Loves Eclaire)/Meghan Goldsworthy pt 4
“It all started I guess when Julia…” Eli started, his eyes grew black like coals, and his grip on the table turned his knuckles white. We were at the park, in a table far away from the road and were positive that nobody would find us. “All of this was my fault.” “No Eli it wasn’t,” I said, I was already trying to not cry. I was sitting next to Eli, across the table from Clare and Adam. “You didn’t make anything happen, it’s my fault…. I shouldn’t have, it wasn’t smart.” “Meghan, what wasn’t smart?” Clare said, looking at me. “You’re really starting to scare me.” Eli looked at me, and I shook my head, I wasn’t going to be able to tell them. “When Julia… died. It wasn’t a good time for either of us. I wasn’t talking to anyone. I found something that could help me cope.” He took a deep breath. “Drugs.” Clare gasped and she leaned away from him. Adam just stared at us. “Then I went with one night,” I said, pulling my jacket closer around me. “I just wanted to see my brother again. While Eli did harmless stuff, I didn’t know what I was doing. I just took something.” At that point I broke down. I pulled away from everyone. I stood up, and started pacing. Eli’s nails were digging into the table, Clare was crying just like me. Adam just stared at me, like he was seeing me for the first time. “After that night, I should have noticed that something had changed." Eli said. "She started coming with me all the time back to that place, always sat with the same person. She dropped weight, I was to wrapped up in my own self loathing to notice what my sister had become,” “I… I’m a, a, heroin addict,” I whispered. I took of my jacket, showing them my arm for the first time. “Oh, no Meg, no,” Adam said, he stood up. He walked tentatively towards me; he stared at my arm as if he hoped it would change. The inside of my arm was covered in tons of scars, ones that would never go away. Adam pulled me close and hugged me, while I just sobbed. “Addict?” Clare said, looking shaken. “And you?” She said looking at Eli, he shook his head. “Never me, I stuck with more simple things, but she never knew, she would have never.” He said. “When was the last time you…?” Clare asked me, I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. “A little bit before we started Degrassi, I haven’t, since we started here, so about a month.” I said my voice cracking. “Our old school was filled with people like us, but then they found out about our parents. I’m just going to say it because I don’t want to hold it in any more. We have two moms.” Clare didn’t look anymore shocked. “I figured, I’ve been to your house once. And after what you just told me that not a huge shock.” She went over to me and hugged me too. “There’s more isn’t there.” Adam said, pulling away from me. “It’s why you’re so afraid of Fitz, and why nobody knows about your parents.” “They found out, the people at our old school, they were like Fitz but a thousand times worse.” I said, shaking at the memory. “They found out, and they didn’t like it, and somehow they, decided to do something about it. “They got into the drugs we were taking, and tripled it, we both OD’d that night” Eli said, shaking his head, we both remembered the sound of the sirens. “Were both in the emergency room that night. They said it was a miracle Meghan survived.” “I was cheaked into a rehab center, for about two months. I’m still not completely clean, sometimes is so hard. Eli got off with counseling.” “This is so much to take in.” Clare said. “Drugs, Meghan you’re a heroin addict.” She looked at me. I had flinched when she said the words. “Look they went through some hard times.” Adam said. He had more of an idea of what we had gone through. I turned and looked at Eli, he was studying me. “When did you say the last time was Meghan?” “A month ago,” I said in a tiny voice, he looked murderous. “We were starting a new school I felt so alone, but I haven’t since.” “What happens if you can’t stop huh?” he said. “You’re going to end up back in the hospital.” He came over and grabbed my shoulders. “I can’t lose you too.” “You’re not going to.” I said. “We have a good life here; I don’t want to mess it up.” I looked at my two friends. Both were looking at me in a new way, but hey, I deserved it. Category:Blog posts